The next leg of my ceaselessly expanding journey—my vision quest—began just over a year ago in the mountains surrounding my beloved Montana town, where I spent two weeks fasting and contemplating life. My time spent alone and isolated was intended to serve multiple purposes but it was just, largely, to vacate society long enough for the emergence of clarity in the forefront of my consciousness.
Upon its conclusion, while I descended from my early spring abode, Spirit spoke clearly, “Just do what you love.” At the time, I was still vested in an outer venture that I was sure I would continue pursuing with due diligence, considering that this dream, to create, began around the same time, five years prior. What had not dawned on me—until just yesterday, Easter Sunday, 2017—was the resurrection of the awareness that I had indeed embodied this newfound wisdom, this desire to fulfill my wildest, dying dreams, but not how I thought I would.
This intention to create something in my outer world came true and I have been able to enjoy the fruits of six years worth of visioning, designing, fallbacks, delays and ultimate manifestation. What ultimately resonated within, though, was that I had undergone an alchemical transformation and all that I had been externalizing, for too long, had eventually been directed inward. It is entirely immaterial what this project idea was, but it still amazes me that my initial revelation, last year around this time, was that it was necessary to start from the inside, out.
Writing had come to the forefront of my pursuits—my birthing desire to fulfill what has always come so naturally. I never could have imagined how trusting in such a unique, creative gift would literally shape my inner landscape. Before I realized it, my entire outer world changed.
Living in a new state now, residing in a locale of my dreams, I am tirelessly pursuing what I love so dearly, while acknowledging all that I must let go of. So much that I have externalized, I eventually learned, must first be turned inward, so that whatever projection I explicitly focused on, could be eventually realized, here, in this waking dream. One full year of tunnel vision and singular focus, now but a figment of my memory, is something remarkable to sit and quietly ponder for a while, feeling satisfied. Ponder that no matter what aim I choose to set out and achieve, I must first come to terms with all that dwells within, to clear a path for whatever it is I am here to complete.
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I am an avid outdoor enthusiast and so my initial venture was gear that I could introduce to the backpacking community. It has become evident, though, how much my ego has pervaded such perceptions of accomplishment and at one point (or many, really) I subsided into accepting alternate pathways—abiding in what Spirit truly intends for me.
For the first time, I can feel a natural rhythm, or innate flow, coursing through me—absent my own version of what it feels like to manufacture these feelings—a life-force erupting from source and cascading from me. Giving in to what was never meant to come to pass, and instead trusting, with a fierce determination to accept what comes to me, meeting each day with the best attitude I can conjure up, has demonstrated just what path I am meant to be on, which could only be revealed after a determinate period of obscurity.
Do you see how necessary it is, for the caterpillar to struggle within the womb of its self-imposed cocoon, before finally emerging with the spirited potential, to take flight, as that truly marvelous butterfly?
The answers arrive, when we are ready to commit. The questions will always arise to the surface and we must ask, “What of me?” There is no telling just when our dreams will avail themselves to us—when our vision will meet this extraordinary reality—and there is absolutely no denying that we are amidst, as an integral member of, a constantly shape-shifting reality.
Awake in the dream.
We’re here to co-create and embody our wisdom—behave more selflessly. Cut loose all that no longer serves, or never really did, so that we can abide more fervently in this waking dream. Each clue is a stepping stone and the more attentive we become, while working toward our potentials each day—just one step at a time—leads us to where we never could have fathomed, the reflection of our imagination, becoming our newborn reality.
If there is something within eating away at you, just ask, “What of me?” Let Spirit conjure miracles on your behalf and go to work each day with a brighter and brighter attitude, knowing that your dying wishes—that what is meant for you, what feels right, is in alignment with your thoughts, feelings and spirited confessions—are coming true and are shining through.
—Photo Credit: Flickr/Mario Antonio Pena Zapatería
The post One Man’s External Quest—Leading to Internal Alchemical Changes appeared first on The Good Men Project.